Melanie Fails to Kill Helnah
This scene takes place somewhere between Chapters 26 and 27 during my major overhaul after unpublishing. I was entertaining the idea of “What if the Hero Failed?” It was scrapped because it interrupted the pacing and had little purpose when Melanie would defeat Helnah in the end anyway. I also didn’t quite have a concrete battle plan at the time, so I didn’t really know what direction I was going.
As always, these deleted scenes have not been edited in any way apart from my own self-revision.
[setting: Battle of Thornbrill. Lakéthion’s army had just fallen back to regroup. Melanie had rescued Scalaed, who flew them out because Helnah woke up. No one knows Helnah is still alive.]
Melanie and the rest of her companions gathered in the tent.
General Lingolm revealed the number of casualties, “We’ve lost about a dozen good men. But, we have destroyed the plague of Tindora.”
All eyes landed on Melanie. She looked up with an expression no one liked. “Not exactly.”
The stares intensified with Lingolm asking in hushed fury, “What?”
Melanie wrung her hands, “Jason was in danger and—”
“What?” Jason slammed his fists on the table, “That wasn’t the plan, Melanie!”
“You had one job!” Lingolm yelled, “You had the perfect conditions and you failed!”
“I can’t believe you!” Jason shouted, “The whole point of this plan was to kill Helnah! I would have been fine for a few extra minutes!”
“How was I supposed to know?” Melanie cried, “You could have died, and I wasn’t going to leave you!”
“We’ll have to go out again,” Elken sighed wearily.
“No!” Lingolm bellowed, “I was already assured we would have no deaths, I will not send out my troops a second time.”
“How can we trust you with the task again?” Briefur condemned.
Everyone erupted in an uproar, arguing and shouting about the devastating failure.
“Jason is my brother!” Melanie screamed, “I lost him too many times already, I can’t lose him again!” Melanie choked.
Voices died down and Lingolm turned away, hand on his forehead.
“If General Lingolm will not help us, I know my people will,” Fallon said, “I will send word for aid.”
“And we have Scalaed now,” Elken put in, “So I say we go back into the Maze and destroy Helnah.”
“It will not be long before Helnah discovers we have Scalaed,” Baraden said, “And when she does, she’ll unleash a second attack.”
“You may concoct another plan, but Lakéthion will not join you,” Lingolm stated.
“I know,” Baraden nodded.
“I don’t blame any of you,” Melanie sank in her seat, “I ruined everything. I don’t expect your help after this, but I swear I’ll try to make it right. I don’t want to sound cliche but I mean every word I say.”
“Lakéthion may not fight,” Lingolm explained, “but we will stay in camp to see to Thornrbill’s surrender. With no leader, they will have no choice but to give up.”
